Hey Rule-breakers,
This post is for those of us who grew up in religious households. If that’s you, you may have been taught that it was wrong to trust in anyone but God. And so, the idea of trusting yourself may feel somehow wrong.
I realize that trusting yourself, in this case, can be more difficult, and so I wanted to give the religious rule-follower (or previously religious rule-follower) a little encouragement. Here are ten things I know or that I am learning:
I know that I was brought up to believe I should put all my trust in God alone.
I know this led me to the belief that trusting myself was wrong, maybe even sinful.
I know this translated into me trusting everyone else except myself.
I know this lack of trust in my own decision-making abilities caused me to stall out and stunted my growth in more ways than one.
I know that, if you grew up in the same religious background as me, you were most likely taught that God is a “good father.”
I know that being a good parent means teaching your child to be independent so that they can make healthy decisions on their own.
I know as I am teaching my own child to be an independent and productive member of our family and community, I must give her opportunities to try new things and make decisions herself without constant guidance and supervision. She needs opportunities to exercise independence and autonomy. She needs to climb on the monkey bars without me standing right under her so she learns to trust her body to carry the weight. She needs opportunities to cut up her own food, even though the idea of her wielding a knife might be terrifying. She needs chances to make her own choices and trust that she’s made good ones. Giving her these opportunities will not cause her to stop trusting me as her parent; it just means she’s learning to also trust herself.
I am learning that healthy adults know how to lead themselves and that requires trusting themselves to make sound decisions.
I am learning that leading myself does not mean that I stop trusting others or asking for their advice. Nor does it mean that I stop trusting God. It DOES mean that I include my own thoughts, opinions, needs, and desires when it comes to making decisions about my one beautiful life.
I am learning to trust myself. Maybe you are, too—or maybe you are trying to decide if you should give yourself permission to trust yourself. If so, I’ll leave you with these questions to ponder: What if trusting yourself and trusting God are not mutually exclusive after all? What if learning to trust yourself is exactly the thing you need in order to fully embrace the person you were created to be? What if?
If you are ready to begin this journey towards self-trust or if you’ve already started the learning process, I invite you to read this post for some practical tips and mindsets to help you on your journey. I’ll be writing a bit more about this next week, so be sure to subscribe if you haven’t already.
And in case you are wondering…Yes, you are trustworthy. You make good decisions, and you are capable of leading yourself and others well.
You’ve got this, rule-breaker. You can trust yourself.
Until Next Time,
Lauren Lanoue
I love the cadence of this list! Thanks for sharing.