Don't Overthink It

And The Traits We're Taught to Hate

“Don’t overthink it,” she said, as I was just starting the task I had been assigned. I was new to this type of work, and I was still learning the expectations, the whats and whys and hows of the organization. I knew I was asking a lot of questions, but I had my reasons. I was also taking my time and thinking things through so that I could manage the project successfully and efficiently. No cause for shame, and I wasn’t under a deadline. Still, this casually tossed-out bit of ineffective encouragement felt like the harshest of criticism to the rule-following part of me.

Overthinking? I’m not overthinking…Am I overthinking? I worried that I had in fact done something wrong by taking time to plan and evaluate the best course of action to complete the project I had been assigned.

On top of feeling attacked by the unwarranted critique, I also felt grossly misunderstood. One thing about me is I am going to ask follow-up questions if given a task. I ask questions to better understand the assignment and to be clear on the expectations. “Overthinking” by asking follow-up questions has always been a survival tactic for me. Asking follow-up questions had helped me avoid inadvertent mistakes, but it also ensured that I did exceptional work that met or exceeded expectations. Was that really such a bad thing?

This was not the first time I had been told to stop overthinking. In fact, I had read books and articles trying to learn how to do just that. I recognized that overthinking, at times, pulled me into thought spirals that kept me stuck. Thus, a well-meaning and friendly, “Stop overthinking it,” would be thrown my direction.

Despite being used to that phrase, for some reason, this scenario in particular got me thinking…Okay, maybe it was overthinking, but sometimes, overthinking gets you somewhere.

My contemplation before action coupled with my many questions had caused my supervisor to think that I was stuck. It seemed, in her view, that I couldn’t make the decision because of overthinking. To be fair, sometimes, overthinkers do get stuck in the decision-making process. Therefore, her assessment of the situation was perhaps not entirely unwarranted. However, what many people fail to realize, and what I realized that day, is that overthinking is not something to be avoided at all cost.

On this particular occasion, I needed to think things through. The task involved creativity and problem solving. I was creating a display that needed to be both appealing and functional. There was a lot to think about, and I needed to think things through. Otherwise, the work would have not been to my own standard. It is important for me to feel pride in my work.

I realized that day that what others sometimes perceive as overthinking is actually “thorough-thinking.” And thorough-thinking has served me well for most of my life. I have found some measure of success in life, and in large part, that is due to my ability to think through situations and solve problems. For example, my ability to plan for all kinds of possible outcomes made me a great teacher and makes me an excellent mom and travel companion.

That day at work, while I was overthinking about overthinking, I started to ask these questions: Why is taking time to think about something considered a bad thing? Why are we criticized for thinking before acting? What if overthinking is not a negative trait after all?

I realize that it is absolutely possible to truly overthink and get stuck in the decision-making process. However, I would wager a guess that, most of the time, when people say, “Don’t overthink it,” it is not that we are actually overthinking, and more likely that we are thorough-thinking so that we make better, more informed decisions. I believe that our daily decisions make our lives. Thus, “overthinking” (a.k.a. thorough-thinking) is actually a vital skill and an important tool in our tool belts. So, chin up, overthinker. You keep thinking all those beautiful thoughts.

And while you’re doing that, I invite you to spend some time thorough-thinking about other traits that you have been taught are negative. Have you been told you are too sensitive? A perfectionist? An introvert or an extrovert—both of which can have negative stereotypes attached? In what ways are these actually positive or can they be positive?

For example, I have been fighting my perfectionism for several years. While I know that perfection is not a reasonable goal, I would argue that excellence IS. The perfectionist side of me pushes me towards excellence. Sometimes, that is what keeps me writing when I want to give up. So maybe even perfectionism is not all bad.

But I’ll let you think that over.

What other traits do you possess that you have been taught are negative? How can you begin to see those parts of yourself differently and in a positive light? I’d love to hear from you so feel free email me or comment below!

In the meantime, you’ve got this, rule-breaker. You are good, and you are loved. Every piece of you—even the overthinking pieces.